Grace For The Grace-Givers

You can be the calm one in every crisis and still be quietly running on empty. Today, we’re naming the thing so many wedding planners and coordinators feel but rarely say out loud: we give grace away all day long, then hold ourselves to a harsher standard than anyone else ever could. 

I’m sitting down with Tish Clay of Simone Elise Events, a master certified wedding planner and seasoned wedding pro who built a business alongside her husband while balancing real life, real emotions, and real limits. We talk about what burnout actually looks like in the wedding industry, including the sneaky early signs like irritation, drained social batteries, and the pressure to be “on” 24/7. We also get honest about the emotional labor behind client management and vendor communication, especially when you’re the person everyone expects to fix everything. 

From there, we dig into practical self-care for wedding planners that doesn’t feel fluffy: boundaries that actually hold, what it means to stop carrying other people’s pain, and why professionalism and vulnerability can coexist. Tish shares the mindset shift that changed how she processes stress, including the simple but powerful practice of “feel your feelings” so they don’t pile up and take you out later. 

If you’re ready to build a sustainable event planning business that protects your peace, listen now. Share this with a planner friend who needs it, and leave a review so more wedding pros can find the support they deserve.

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Transcript

Grace For Everyone Else

SPEAKER_02 0:00

We give grace away all day long. Grace for our couples, grace for our teams, grace for our vendors. But when's the last time you handed a little of that grace to yourself? Today we're getting honest about burnout, roadblocks, and the permission slip that we forgot to write for ourselves. So let's stop in.

Coffee Talk And Meet Tish

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Now let's jump right in with our host, founder and CEO Lori Hartwell.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Welcome back to the table, friends. Pull up a chair. We've got a good one for you today. I want you to picture this. It's one of those mornings where the light's coming through the windows just right. You can hear the espresso machine humming in the background. And let me tell you who I'm having coffee with today. Miss Tish Clay is one of a husband and wife team over at Simona Lee's events. She and Darius do wedding planning as well as floral design together, which honestly, running a business with your spouse is kind of its own kind of masterclass. They're celebrating 10 years in the industry this year, which is a huge achievement. Though I do hear that she and Darius do have slightly different math formulas on that. But here's what gets me this amazing woman is very credentialed. She is a master certified wedding planner, a certified style shoot coordinator, a wedding design consultant, certified floor plan designer, and she's a certified timeline genius. Not to mention the fact that she's an industry advancement director and all through the CWP Society. 21 years this wonderful lady has been married. She is also a mom to two amazing grown girls who will forever be her babies. And she's also a mama to a poodle named Archie, which I have to tell you I love that name. So, Tish, did I miss anything here?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

No, I think you covered it. I mean, anything else we share would take us up probably the entire time on the podcast. So no, I think that's great.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

I'm okay with that. Now I have to ask you the most important question of the day. Okay. And before we get into any of the real stuff, this is the one question that we have to ask. What's going to be in your cup? Are you a keep a simple, black coffee, don't overthink it kind of person? Or are you the one kind of holding up the line with that very long, specific, customized order? So tell me who you are as a coffee person.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

So I'm definitely holding up the line, but my order is gonna be pretty much the same thing every time. So when they see me coming, they know what I'm going to say, but I still need to say it just to make sure the new person in the bag gets it just right.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

All right, I have to know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

This is a salted caramel mocha latte. Oh, delish.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Now, hand it to you, are you gonna be adding sugar? Do you add anything to it or is it perfect right out of the gate?

SPEAKER_01 3:13

So I like the sugar-free caramel and I love the almond milk. Okay. However, sometimes the heavy-handed person is a little different. So if it's too sweet, can you give me another shot? Or if it's a little too strong, can you give me some caramel in a cup, please?

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Oh, that's a great idea. I didn't even think about ordering caramel in a cup, Tish. Well, today I'm having just a very simple chai latte. It kind of reminds me of Christmas, and you know how much I love Christmas, Tish.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Uh so I'm gonna fully embrace the phrase Christmas in July. So that's what I'm having today.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

So now that we have a Christmas tree somewhere up in your home right now.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

I 100% do. And it is and it still has the 4th of July ornaments all over it. We are celebrating the anniversary, the 250th anniversary of the United States. But I'm really excited because in just about a week, I'm gonna be switching everything over to my fall decor and having all those nice warm tones. But yes, Tish, you're right. You do know me so very well. I do have my tree up all year long and I just switch out the ornaments according to the season. I think that's what we should all do, to be quite honest.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Listen, if if I could get my husband to give me a budget for ornament switching, I'd be right there with you.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

I just did it uh without talking to him. I'm like, uh, sorry, honey, this is what I need in my life. Um well, now that we have our drinks in hand, let's go grab a nice little cozy table in the corner, far in the back, and let's kind of settle in.

Leading Without Chasing Trends

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Now, before I get to grill you, I always give my guests the chance to turn the tables around on me. So, Tish, I believe you got a question for me. Go ahead, put me on the spot.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Okay, all right. So, Lori, you have driven in so many different lanes within this industry, and you wear many hats as not only an educator, but you're a fabulous mentor, a wonderful, caring friend, and you're a mama bear. How have you continued to navigate this changing industry, staying on top of the changes that seem to happen like every three months or so for so many years, and also remain so compassionate and resilient?

SPEAKER_02 5:48

Oh, tishy tish. Uh, first of all, you're being very generous with me, and I love, I love you. Thank you for even thinking of me that way. Let me kind of start by saying that it's really been in my mind only one big pivot rather than too many lanes, because I went from being, you know, obviously a very successful wedding planner, building systems and things that would actually work in our business. And after being in the industry for a little over 15 years, I guess it was, I went into mentoring and educating planners and coordinators all over the world and growing what is today the CWP Society, uh, which I am really proud to say that it is the world's premier wedding planner certification and membership organization. But I also want to say that it's a member-driven society. A lot of people try to give me a lot of the credit. I feel like a lot of the credit actually is due to my members. It is all of you who make it so great and make it something that I also love. So I credit my members. That's that's really the whole journey. And I'll own that I do it, yeah, a little unconventionally. I don't like to follow the pack. I don't tell people what they want to hear. I tell people what they need to hear. I just make sure to always go out of my way to do it with grace, kindness, and care. Now, as far as the industry changing and how I navigate it, whoo, here's my real secret. I try not to ever chase the trends at all. That's not something that I like to do. I like to make sure that I'm not paying attention to that as much as I'm paying attention to the people. And when it comes to creating education, I really go out of my way to focus on the things that inspire planners really to kind of ensure that they do everything with integrity. Because to me, that's where our foundation should be built on. Okay. Everything should be built on that foundation. But in addition to that, my education that I create is, you know, it's based on the fact that I'm always studying what's coming, not so that we can just all ride this crazy wave, right? That's not what this is about. It's so that whatever I'm teaching or privately talking about at one of my mentoring sessions with a wedding planner or coordinator, that I can tell them what to expect and what's coming down the pike so that nobody gets caught off guard. So is the job hard? Is it hard to always show up all the time? Yeah, it's so, so hard. But let me just be honest about what that looks like inside of my mind, inside of my heart and my soul. In the last year and a half alone, I've rebuilt our wedding planner certification program. I've completely revamped, as you know, the master certification. I'm also in the middle of revamping the certified wedding design program. I write and deliver a brand new one-hour workshop every single week for my certified and my master certified wedding planners. I prep for podcasts just like this one. And I'm supervising our customer service team, our master program team, our certified industry educator team, as well as my industry advancement director team. So when you ask, you know, how do you keep going? I focus all my energy on grace and integrity because those are the only two things that get me through it. Okay. And as far as staying compassionate and resilient, the honest answer is that the reason I do that is because I I love you guys. I genuinely, genuinely, genuinely love you. I care so deeply and I try to give everyone the same empathy that I would want someone to give me because we all kind of go through hard seasons. We all hit things, you know, that feel kind of insurmountable at times. And knowing that you've got someone in your corner who is always trying to reserve judgment, right? Who sees the person and the struggle behind that circumstance, that is everything. That's, in my opinion, where love lives. Okay. And if I can be that for someone else, then I feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose.

Stop Carrying Other People’s Pain

SPEAKER_02 10:05

But I'll I'll be really honest with you, okay, about something that I had to learn. Loving people has always come really easy. That's never been the problem. The problem was that my default was to carry other people's pain for them when they would share it and I would take it off of them, right? So that they didn't have to hold it anymore. But then I'm carrying it. Now it's on my shoulders, and it was so heavy-tish. So there have been times where it broke me, okay, more than once. And I remember even as a young, young kid, my mom would say to me, Lori, you can't save the world. Okay, you gotta stop trying to save the world. But I didn't want to just stop having empathy, right? So I had to teach myself that once I became an adult how to take the weight off of someone else and then actually just put it down. I don't have to carry it, I don't have to keep it, I don't have to hold on to it and worry in you know incessantly. And that's the only reason I feel like I can actually show up for all of our 14,000 plus members the way that they need me to be. And here's the thing that people get wrong about me all the time. People seem to assume that because I look put together and because I am a strong, independent woman, that I don't have pain to, okay, that I don't go through hard times. And my word, that could not be further from the truth, right? I'm a crier, Tish. Uh, and that's how I release. I've shared some of that with you privately. I have always been a crier. So having my best friends around me and loving me and checking in on me and making sure that I'm actually letting the stress out, not just from life, but from the job, all of it, that really keeps me from feeling heavy all the time. Because without those types of people in my life, I probably end up carrying it constantly without even realizing I'm doing it. So if there's, you know, I want to say something to my listeners here. If there is a strong person in your life, please check on them. Make sure they're okay too. I think that's really important. And that's really what today is actually all about, isn't it? Like we're so good at being that person for everybody else. This whole conversation is you and me kind of getting honest about what it takes as a wedding planner and coordinator to kind of give a little of that grace back to

Professional Grace Givers And Burnout

SPEAKER_02 12:30

ourselves. So that ironically lands us right where I wanted to start today, Miss Tish. Here's the thing about planners and coordinators, Tish. I think that we're all professional grace givers. It's the job. But somewhere in there and along the way, we keep forgetting to give some of that back to ourselves. And I don't think either of us has ever claimed to or even tried to say that we come to the table as people who've got it all figured out. We've just both lived it. And that's why this conversation is so important. So I think the first question I have here is you know, have you also ever had one of those like stretches where you looked up and you realized all of a sudden you've given every single thing that you had to everyone else? And there was just, I don't know, nothing left for you or very little left for you. And if so, what was that like?

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Oh, absolutely. I've had probably a couple of those moments, but I've definitely had one that I can recall uh most vividly, which may have been the start of me turning over how I process things. I remember in my home during a time where I was the one, and I'm kind of still the one, who like I start all of the excitement. I'm the loud one. I am the uh the entertainment. Um I'm gonna initiate the fun, whether it's for a celebration or whether it's just a random Tuesday.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Oh, I love this.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

And so I remember when the girls were younger and I was full-time employed, trying to run simonialist events. Uh, and then my husband and I, we actually started working together in our church ministry. And so, of course, that's still happening. We were activity coordinators for our couples' ministry, and so you got that full-time employment, you're dealing with brides and vendors, and then the girls were younger, so they were teenagers, so to speak. And I feel like I was just running on all cylinders. And I remember talking to someone, because I was having a little bit of a hard time, of course, dealing with all that, and it just kind of came to a head at one point. And I was talking to her, and she said, What if you allow them to do these things for themselves? Now, of course, in that moment I didn't, it didn't happen. I didn't do it. I wasn't good at it because this thought had just been introduced to me. But I think along the way, bit by bit, I've learned to do just that. I've learned to kind of release it for them and for other people. Yeah, I don't have to be the one to make sure, because it at the end of the day, it's really about making the other person smile. I don't have to always be the one to make sure you're smiling. I do want to make sure everybody's okay. And I do want to make sure you're good and you're having a good time, but I don't have to take that on.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Yeah, yeah. It's you kind of what I'm hearing you say is you kind of felt like it was your responsibility to be the happy provider, the the person who instills and puts in happiness everywhere. And you took that responsibility on yourself. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Yeah, I did. I don't think initially it started in that way. It was just moments of having small children and wanting to play with them and keep them busy, and and it just turned into this massive event that had to happen. And I had to be the person to do it.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

I mean a lot. That's so much, that's so much weight. Yeah. To put on yourself for sure. And I think that probably a lot of planners and coordinators, because we are people pleasers, feel as though it is our responsibility to think of everything, make sure everybody's okay, make sure we're solving problems in every single aspect of our lives. And you're right, Tish. We can't solve everybody's problem. But I feel like just as women in general, I feel like we put that on ourselves all the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

And that's not necessarily needed in the moment, you know, you came up with the fact that you thought that someone needed to be happy in this moment.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Right. It's it's they they may not want to be happy in this moment. You cannot force them to be happy.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

They may not even be sad.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

They're just they're just not putting a smile on my face. I remember too, in our position, in our jobs as planners and coordinators, we always kind of have to. I was just even talking to my husband about the this this morning. You know, when I'm on the job, I give a hundred percent, sometimes more, but let's just give it a round number of a hundred percent. And then in private time, you know, when I'm just relaxing, because I am very introverted, when I give 100% for a long stretch of time, my battery starts to drain. And when my battery drains, that means after that spurt of energy that I had to give, I'm now maybe at 50%. And so that means that the smile is not gonna be plastered on the whole time. Now, there was someone in my life that every time they saw my face that wasn't 100% on, okay, and it was a family member, she said, What's wrong? Is that I'm like, nothing. Uh, I'm good. I just can't have that, I can't be at 100% 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And so, yeah, I think it's really important that we as women don't expect that of other people too, and that we give that grace to ourselves when we're not feeling like we have to smile or be happy, or sometimes we can celebrate, but in more quiet ways. Maybe we can celebrate internally. We we can do things in ways that maybe defy the expectations of everybody else, right? Yes. So, you know, did you ever notice it when it was happening? Or did it, is it more of a like, I'm reflecting back on those moments and now I see that that's what I was trying to do.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Well, after that person that I was speaking with said, What if you let them find it on their own? What if you allow them to do these things on their own? Then I started to pay more attention to when I was doing it, and that's when moment by moment I started to kind of release and allow things to happen natural more naturally. I'm still I'm still the loudest person in the house.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

But I don't have to be. You don't have to be. If you're not feeling it, you're not gonna force it. Right. Okay, I love this.

Quiet Burnout Signs Show Up

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Now, I think the sneaky part, wedding planners and coordinators in general sometimes write it off by saying my stress or what I'm feeling is just because I'm in busy season or I'm feeling kind of low because I I just need to get to the next client. I just maybe I'm just like, oh, I'll rest in November. I'll take better care of myself when this happens, right? Whatever that is. So I think a lot of people are kind of explaining away a lot of what they're feeling without actually looking directly at it. So, you know, in your experience, have you noticed any little tiny signs that you've noticed in yourself, like the ones that were probably little indicators of potential burnout, but at the time you just kind of talk yourself right past them. Oh, let's not look at that. Let's, oh, it's probably just this or it's probably just that. Because I don't think it always shows up as this dramatic breakdown, right? That a lot of people think that it has to happen before you can pivot or adjust. Sometimes it's quieter than that and we miss it. So, has have you ever noticed those things?

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Oh, absolutely. Yes. I think when I started to realize that being an introvert, I too know have to force out when I don't energy that, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:37

It feels like you're like, oh, this is making so much.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so initially I thought when the phone rings, it's my normal behavior. After a while, I realized the phone ringing was more irritating than it should be, even as an introvert. You do not get as irritated as you do every time the phone rings. Okay. And that's when I noticed uh this might be something else. Something else is happening. I'm not this person.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

So, what did you do about that in that moment?

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Well, in the moment, I initially started off just pushing through because I have to answer the phone. So I just I just forced it. I put me to the side and said, sit here, I'll be right back. And then I handled whatever it was that needed to be handled in the moment.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

I was gonna put me over here. You just sit there. I'll be right back in just a minute. You just I'm going to push myself past this comfort zone, or I'm gonna push myself past this thing that is irritating me, but I have to do it anyway. Yeah. You know what? I think that may have been one of the most relatable things talked about on this podcast because so many. Of us are pushing past these tiny little sneaky signs that we are closing in on burnout. We're closing in on feeling like okay, something needs to change. And these are, I feel like it's just signs that our body is trying to signal to us, it's whether it's our brain, maybe it's achingness in our body, maybe we're feeling physically feeling all of these strange signs and feelings. But we we need to make sure that we pay attention to these because what our body and our mind and our spirit and our soul is trying to say is you know, you're pushing yourself past a normal limit here, and we might need to change things, we might need to pivot. And I feel like a lot of people think that that means failure to them, and that makes me sad. Do you think that that might be what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Absolutely, yeah. I mean, because we are we're we're robots, right? Right, you know, we we think that we have to have everything together, and so if we feel something that rubs against that in any kind of way, any friction, any anything that's opposing what should feel natural. Because, you know, of course I want all the vendors to call me, even though I've sent them all the information. Of course, I want that. That should not be a problem for me, right? Right, right. But I I definitely think that because we think that that's what we're not supposed to feel or see or experience, then we assume it's us, and then we take that on, and and it doesn't turn out to be the thing that sits right in. I'm supposed to be here, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And all of those thoughts just start to be something completely different. And if you're still trying to march forward in this wonderful life that you created as an entrepreneur, with those thoughts, you're about to erupt.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

You're putting off the inevitable, you are ignoring what you need to be paying attention to because it's not comfortable. Sometimes I just find that to be so true across a lot of different professions, to

Permission To Pivot And Realign

SPEAKER_02 24:18

be honest with you. I feel, but especially for planners and coordinators, I think that it's one of the things that we all need to make sure that we give ourselves permission to do, which is pivot. We need to make sure that we are always seeking alignment. And, you know, especially in our businesses, if we're the architects of our business, right, we need to make sure that not only are those in our orbit aligned with our values, but we also need to make sure that as we grow into the people we were meant to grow into, that we allow ourselves to do so. Because I think that maybe part of this too, and this is just a theory that just kind of popped up into my head, is sometimes we are a bit resistant to change because it isn't the most comfortable thing. Maybe we're a little bit resistant to growth because some that would mean that we have to see ourselves for the imperfect person that we actually are, and that we need to maybe make some adjustments to ourselves internally. We also need to make sure that we are realigning and pivoting so that we can continue to grow. But if we're so focused and forcing ourselves to stay in the same lane that we started in the same road, the road eventually comes to an end. You have to sometimes take the ramp and get off the road, take a break, right? Fill up the gas. We need to sometimes make sure that we are taking maybe a different path, the one that we didn't realize that we needed to go. But you have to be open to those kinds of things, you know, and I think that that's really, really important.

Boundaries That Actually Hold

SPEAKER_02 26:03

So here's kind of the one that I really want to sit with here because I think it's so specific to us. I find that we'll hand out endless grace all the time. And we do so with every single couple that we have. I mean, that some of them treat us so poorly, so so poorly, or they'll ghost us and then show up out of the blue going, what? What? No, and then you know, we give so much grace to our vendors, you know, the ones that you had kind of just mentioned, you know, we sent out the timeline, we don't hear back, things of that nature. We send we just give so much grace if someone's having an off day. But the second that we need grace, it seems like it's a totally different standard. So, why do you think it's so much harder for planners and coordinators to give ourselves that same grace? Because I catch myself doing it all the time, and I can't fully explain it.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

I think it's because we're the ones that make everything better for everyone. And so when we have say a bride who calls and she's having a panic attack or a meltdown or something, we can't be the same as the bride. No, you know, we we can't have the panic attack. No, right.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

They always say, you know, like when you were on an airplane tish, you know, they always say put your own mask on before helping someone else. And I feel like that is one of the most important things that we can actually bring to every aspect of our life. Now, a lot of people think planners and coordinators, it's just like a control thing or it's a perfectionism thing. I don't think it is that. I just think that we're solely focused on others that we forget to look in and forget to look inward.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

And there's also the standard, right? You're a wedding planner, everything is under control. That's the persona that you are supposed to put out. And so, since that's what you're supposed to put out, then that's how you have to look. So, because it's I'm supposed to look like everything is perfect.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Oh, we need to stop doing that. I feel like at some point in this industry, Tish, we're all going to have to say, listen, there's one thing to put out professionalism. Like, yep, I did this wedding, it looked like this. But it's also okay to be vulnerable. And I think we need to be vulnerable with one another. That's actually part of the reason why I love our organization so, so much is all of our members are so vulnerable with each other. We just talk about the real stuff and we don't judge each other. We're like, dang, this is hard. Or this one person, this one client did this, and this one vendor did this, and it hurt my feelings. And how do we go about this? How do we move forward? That's awesome. But what I don't hear often is I deserve better. I don't hear, I need to make sure that I have higher expectations. You know what I see the most ish as a mentor to over 14,000 planners? I see so many people say that they are taking text messages in the middle of the night. Let's say they get a text message at 10 p.m. from a couple who's like panicked about something that is not even close to being an emergency. And they will say, I've got boundaries. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna text them back and let them know at 10:15 that I will get back to them in the morning. And I'm thinking to myself, no, you just breached your own boundary. You just communicated with them that evening. That's not what we're supposed to be doing. Let's just wait until the morning. It's not an emergency. They will live through this, I promise. And even if it is something big, let's say the venue caught on fire. Can you please tell me what I'm gonna do about that at two o'clock in the morning? I don't own the fire department. I am not a firefighter.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

I got firefighter in the garage. Just let me know. I'm on my way.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

I'll take care of the whole thing. Um, you know, prayer is is strong, but God may not be able to answer my my request in this moment. Uh so I feel like what we need to do as planners and coordinators is to make sure that we are showing up for ourselves. And when we have and we put out boundaries to couples, we need to follow them ourselves as well, because that's called self-love. We need to love ourselves, we need to make sure that we're not being taken advantage of. We need to make sure that we don't become just blind yes people where we're saying yes to every single person on the planet just because they have needs. Well, I have needs too. And aren't I just as important as my couples? But there's this balance, I feel, where we need to make sure that yes, I have to show up for my couples in ways that I don't always have time to show up for myself, but I still do need to make sure I'm on that list. I have to do it. We have to make sure that we remember that we're important too. So I hope that people kind of think like that. But when when planners and coordinators are deep in it, uh, with no end in sight, we're in busy season. It feels like we're doing one wedding after another, after another, after another, we kind of feel like we're being buried with tasks, checklists, timelines, emotions. It's just all building up on us. What does, in your opinion, giving yourself grace in those moments actually look like to you?

Feel Your Feelings Then Forgive

SPEAKER_01 31:49

I think the the thing that we have to do, and I've I learned this not to bring things down, but I learned this when my mom passed.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

And this was, I think we had been doing weddings for maybe four years, maybe at that point, four or five years. I remember them telling me to feel your feelings.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

And when I ran into tough spots after that, it would always come back to me, feel your feelings. Feel your feelings, take the moment, take a couple of deep breaths, take two minutes, take five minutes, whatever you need, but feel the feeling because if you don't feel whatever it is that you're feeling, it's going to grow. It's gonna, it's gonna be compounded with whatever the next emotion is that jumps right on top of you. Right. And so if you, and and I still struggle with it, of course, you know, it's it's it's you're we're all work in purpose, right? And so I find myself reminding myself, hey, hey, hey, you got a lot of emotions going on right now. Let's sort them, let's detangle these emotions, feel them, think about what it is that got you here so that you can be done with it. Because as long as you continue to feel it and carry it with you, you're still there. That was two days ago. Right, right. Put that down, you know.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

It was five years ago, put it down.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Take the moment, feel your don't act as though it did not happen. It happened.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Feel it, push through whatever it is that is telling you that you did something, and even if you did do something wrong, feel hey, let it go.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Yeah, fill it, move on, forgive yourself, yeah, and then figure out a plan, come up with a plan on how you won't make that same mistake again, or you won't hurt yourself or hurt someone else in that way, or we're not perfect creatures. We are going to mess up, we are going to trip and we're gonna fall, but it's not about whether or not we were gonna trip and fall. It's not about if someone tripped us and that's how we became we fell on the ground. That's not it. It's the next part. What do you do once you're on the ground? Do you just stay there? Yeah, yeah, or do you pick yourself up and go, all right? Well, I'm obviously gonna need to look at it a little bit closer. Like I need to make sure I'm walking, I'm watching where I'm putting my feet, or I'm watching to make sure that if I see someone putting their foot out to purposely trip me, I am not going to fall over. Uh, or if or I'll just hop over that foot. But I think it is about taking personal responsibility. We all need to take that personal responsibility. We need to hold ourselves accountable for what it is that we're doing and feeling. We need to definitely have a handle on our emotions and know how to communicate through those tough emotions because we all have them, but we can't scream and yell. If someone's getting in our face, we can't yell back. I mean, you can, but that just makes you look bad. You're the one who would not be acting right in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Yeah. And of course, the person that what's the thing? The person that's from a distance can't tell who they won't be able to tell.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

They won't be able to tell who's started what, but it's very clear that one person's out of control and one person is staying calm. I always try to stay calm because staying calm means I'm not putting fuel on the fire. There's already a fire, there's already a problem. If I add to it, that's only going to make the problem worse. So some people interpret calm as you think you're better than you're it's like, no, no, no. It means that I don't want to contribute more to what's already seeming to be volatile. Now, if we're dealing with private emotions, that same thing is true there too. So ego is usually what's beating ourselves up. Our ego is talking to us and it's making things way worse than it actually is. And we need to make sure that we're not putting fuel on that fire as well. And so when you say, look at those feelings and deal with them, we can't run away from that stuff. We have to do it. Sometimes it means letting it burn. If things burn, it hurts, it's very painful, but you have to go through that in order for it to turn to ash and become light and just be released. It has to happen. So it comes though through grace. If we don't give ourselves the grace to even feel our emotions, look directly at our emotions, stay calm in difficult situations, we are going to continue to repeat the same issues over and over and over again. So we need to have the courage to pivot. We need to have the courage to look at ourselves and hold ourselves accountable. We have to have the courage to sometimes turn away from a path that we had been on this whole time and take a new path. It's all choices, but I think it all starts with grace and kindness and love. So if there's any one thing that I want people that are listening to carry out of this conversation, it's this. The grace that you hand out so freely every single day to your couples, your wedding pros, your family members, your friends, you're allowed to keep some of that for yourself. That is not weakness, it's not indulgence, right? It's how we stay in for the long haul. And you are not the only person who has ever felt this way. Okay. Even if it feels that way sometimes in the time, sometimes it can feel very isolating. We're the only persons that feel that way. It's never the case. So, Titch, is there anything that you feel as though you have a takeaway that you want everybody to think about and remember past this conversation?

This Too Shall Pass

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Yeah, I actually think it's very in line with what you just said, which is it's never as bad as it seems. I promise.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

I love that. This too shall pass.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

This too shall pass. It's not as bad, it may feel like it in the moment, but this is just a little bitty dot in all of this life that you are going to live. This career, this moment, whatever that moment, whatever that thing that was that happened, it's not as bad as it seems.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

Oh, I actually love that. I think that is a perfect way to wrap up this podcast. That was so beautifully said. So listen to me. Anyone who's listening, if you guys want to find Tish and Darius and see the beautiful work that they put out to the world and what they do at Simone Elise Events, let's go ahead and point you in their direction. So, Tish, can you tell everybody how they can find you?

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Yes. We are uh Simone Elise Events.com or the website. We are the Simone Elise Events. That's T-H-E, S-I-M-O-N-E, E-L-I-S-E, E-V-E-N-T-S. On Instagram and on Facebook, we are simply Simone Elise Events. I always tell people that you have to look for the double E's. So whenever you're reaching out to us, you have to, because Simone ends in an E and Elise starts with an E. And the same thing with Elise, it ends and events, it starts both with E. So check for the double E's and you should be able to find us just fine.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

And you're in Memphis, Tennessee. And so anybody who wants to reach out and just talk to someone who is just as wonderful and as amazing as you, feel free to do so.

Find Tish And Join CWP

SPEAKER_02 39:43

And before we kind of officially wrap up, if this conversation stirred something in you and you're ready to invest in yourself and in your career, the CWP Society is always here for you. So whether you're just getting started, you can select the free pro membership. If you're working under an established wedding planner and you're looking for some credentials, we have the associate certification and membership. Or maybe you own your own business or are looking to own your own business and you're ready to raise your credentials and learn everything that there is to know about this career. We have our executive certified wedding planner certification. And we also have, if you're a very experienced planner and you're looking to get the highest credentials in the industry, we have the Master Certified Wedding Planner program. And all of these are complete with lifetime certified member benefits and weekly workshops. There is always a place for you at this table. So come find us. So until next time, give yourself a little grace and we'll see you at the coffee shop soon.