The Follow-Up That Builds Referrals

A baby shower invitation landed in the mailbox — and it wasn't from a close friend or a family member. It was from a bride whose wedding Krisy Thomas, Senior Educator with The CWP Society, had planned years earlier. She wasn't inviting the vendor. She was inviting someone she genuinely wanted in the room for one of the most personal moments of her life.

That's what this episode is about.

Most wedding planners are exceptional at the before — the planning, the logistics, the wedding day itself. But the window that follows? The quiet stretch after "thank you" and the flowers are gone and the couple is on their honeymoon? That is where some of the most valuable relationship-building in this business actually happens. And almost no one is talking about it.

In this episode, Krisy gets specific: what to send within 72 hours of the wedding that feels personal instead of transactional, why the six-week mark is one of the most overlooked opportunities in a planner's calendar, and how genuine long-term presence — not newsletters, not automated sequences — is what turns past clients into lifelong referral sources. She also shares real stories: the first client from years ago who still sends business today, the family whose grandfather officiated three weddings she had the honor of planning, and what it felt like when those evenings ended.

If you want more word-of-mouth referrals, deeper client relationships, and a business that grows stronger with every wedding you book — this is where it starts.

Ready to build the professional foundation that makes all of it possible? Visit cwpsociety.com. 

www.cwpsociety.com | info@cwpsociety.com | IG: @cwpsociety | FB: @cwpsociety

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So I received a baby shower invitation in the mail a few years ago. And I remember standing at my mailbox looking at it and just smiling. Because the person who sent it was a bride that I had planned a wedding for years earlier. And here she was inviting me, not as her wedding planner, not as a vendor, and not as someone she felt obligated to include, but as someone she genuinely wanted in the room for one of her most personal moments of her life. And I thought to myself, this this is the part that nobody talks about. You know, as planners and coordinators, we spend so much time talking about booking the client, executing the wedding day, building the timeline, managing the vendors, and all the things that matter a lot when it comes to our job. But there's a whole other chapter that most planners never think about. What happens after the last dance and when the bouquet and everything goes in the car, and after the final vendor has packed up and the couple has sent their thank you so much for everything text. Most planners close that chapter and move on to the next inquiry. And I get it, that's the natural rhythm of this business. But today I want to talk about why that moment right after thank you might be the most valuable one you have and what it can turn into if you're intentional about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

You're listening to the Wedding Planner Society Podcast, brought to you by the CWP Society.

The Six-Week Touchpoint That Works

Friendship Referrals And Family Loyalty

A Simple Reach-Out Challenge

Certification Offer And Discount Code

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Most wedding planners and coordinators are genuinely excellent at the before. They are meticulous in the planning process. They are present and calm and capable on the wedding day. And then when it's over, they send a kind message, maybe a thank you card, which is lovely, and then they move forward. New inquiries come in, new timelines to build, the cycle continues. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That's the reality of running a wedding planning business. But here's what I've noticed, and I do think it's worth us talking about today. The relationships that become the most significant in my career, the referral sources, the friendships, and the people who have sent me the most meaningful work over the years, they came from couples that I have already worked with. Couples who trusted me not just with their wedding, but the version of themselves I got to know through planning it. And that didn't happen because I had a newsletter. It happened because I stayed in the relationship. Now I want to be clear about what I mean by that, because I think there's a version of staying in touch with past clients that planners hear and immediately imagine some kind of automated email sequence with a stock photo of flowers and a subject line that says thinking of you. And that's not what I'm talking about. To me, that's not a relationship. That's marketing wearing a coat, pretending to be a relationship. What I'm talking about is something much simpler. And honestly, it's much more effective. Let me back up for a second and talk about what's actually happening emotionally in the days and weeks after a wedding. Because I think understanding that it's going to change how you approach this. So your couple has just lived through one of the emotional experiences of their lives. They planned for months, sometimes over a year. They've had opinions from every family member. They made hundreds, thousands of decisions, really, navigating stress that they didn't anticipate. And then they stood up in front of the people they love most and got married. And when it was over, there was this beautiful, strange combination of relief and joy and just a little bit of now what? And in that window, those first few days and weeks, they're still feeling everything about the planning process. They remember what it felt like to trust you. They remember the moments where you stepped in and handled something without making a big deal of it. They remember the way you talked to their parents or their florists or their cuckoo crazy aunt. You know, they're in that moment more likely to talk about you to other people than they ever will be again. That window is not three months out, it's not six months out, it's right now, right in those first few weeks. And most planners let it pass without doing anything intentional with it. So here's what I do instead, and I encourage you to think about doing it too. Within the first 72 hours after the wedding, I send something personal. And guys, I mean personal, not a survey, not a we'd love for you to leave a review request, not a form email, something that references a specific moment from their wedding, a detail that was uniquely theirs, something that says I was actually present with you on that day. I wasn't just working the event. I was paying attention to your wedding. You know, this might look like saying something like, I keep thinking about the look on your mom's face when you walk down the aisle. It was one of those moments that just stays with you, and I'm so honored I got to be there for it. And to me, that's it. That's it's short, it's specific, it's human. What it does is it tells them, without you ever saying it, that you were someone who actually cares about them as people, not just as clients on their calendar or your calendar. And that's what most people remember. That is what they describe when they're recommending you to their newly engaged co-worker or to their best friend who just got engaged. They don't say she sent a really nice survey with a five-star review request. They say, gosh, you know what? Chrissy actually reached out to us after a wedding just to say that she was thinking about us. She really does feel more like a friend than a planner. Now, the next thing I want to talk about is the six-week mark because this is a place where, in my experience, is a real opportunity that almost always goes untouched. About six weeks after the wedding, most couples are kind of back in the rhythm of their normal life, but they're still very much in that newlywed glow. The photos might start coming in. They're probably still talking about the wedding when it comes up and they're emotionally still kind of close to it. And that's the perfect moment to reach out to them with something that continues the relationship rather than ask for something. Maybe you saw something, an article about a honeymoon destination they went to, a restaurant that opened in a city they love in, or a photo from a wedding that a vendor shared that you thought that they would love, something that says, I'm still thinking about you, and it's not because I need anything from you. I know that might sound small, but small things done consistently are how trust is built over a long period of time. And long-term trust is where referrals live. I want to share something a little bit more personal here because I think it illustrates it better than any type of framework I could give you. Now, I have a handful, more probably more than a handful, honestly, of couples from early in my career who I genuinely call my friends today. Not in that, you know, loose, we follow each other on Instagram kind of way, but I mean people I've celebrated with, people who've invited me into the non-wedding parts of their lives, and people who I care about as human beings. And that baby shower I mentioned at the top of this episode, she is one of those people. And I also think about to one of my very first clients. Actually, she was my first paying client that I severely undercharged myself for. This was someone years and years ago, and to this day, she still sends me business. Our kids go to the same school. So we see each other, you know, during drop-off at school events. We also see each other at baseball games. You know, when she refers me to someone, in her head, it's not her just doing me a professional favor. She is a friend who genuinely wants people in her life to have a great experience. The referral relationship has lasted longer than most planning businesses do. And it exists because from the very beginning, I treated her like a person worth knowing, not just a client to close. The reason those relationships exist is because after the weddings, I kept showing up as myself. When their anniversaries came around, I remembered. When they moved or got a promotion or posted about something exciting happening in their lives, I said something. And I'll be honest with you, as you guys probably know from past episodes, I am a pretty introverted person. Networking doesn't come naturally to me, and I've never been someone who can work a room well and collect business cards and does all those things. But relationships, oh genuine relationships built slowly and authentically over time, that I can do. And almost every meaningful thing that has happened in my career has been rooted in relationships. So here's what I want you to think about practically. And I want you to actually do something with this, not just listen and nod. Think about the last three or four couples that you worked with. And it doesn't have to be like your favorite ones necessarily, just the most recent. When was the last time you reached out to them? Not for a review, not to check in on anything, just as a person. And if the answer to that is I haven't, that's okay. But today is a good day to fix that. And I'm not talking about a big gesture here, a simple, genuine message, something that references something specific about their wedding day. Takes two to three minutes to write, but what it signals to that person is far more worth than the three minutes of your time. And here's another thing I want you to sit with. Your past clients know people. They have co-workers, siblings, college friends who are getting engaged. And when those people say, Do you know a good wedding planner? Your past clients are the best people to answer that question, but only if they feel like you're someone they want to recommend. Someone who treated them well enough and stayed present enough that you come to mind the moment it happens. And I've seen this play out in my own business as well. And guys, it means so much to me. I planned a wedding for a bride, and it was a wonderful experience from start to finish. We stayed connected over the years, and it, you know, we just we genuinely kept in touch. And then years later, her brother got engaged. So not only did I have the honor of planning her brother's wedding, but they also trusted me enough with the rehearsal dinner as well. Now that didn't come from a Google search, it came from the fact that I was still someone the family thought of and someone they thought of well, years after the first wedding was over. And then there's a family that I will honestly never forget because I've had the privilege of planning the weddings of two sisters and their cousin. And what made each of these weddings so special, what tied them all together, besides me, was their grandfather. He had the honor of officiating every single one. So I got to witness this wonderful man stand up and marry his grandchildren one by one across different seasons and different celebrations. And the end of that, the last wedding, when the night was winding down and everyone had said their goodbyes, all four of us just held each other and we cried. Happy tears, grateful tears. The kind that come when you know you've been part of something that really mattered. To me, that's not just a vendor relationship. That is something you build. And it builds because you showed up not just for one wedding, but for that family over time. Your next client is probably already in someone's life. The question is just whether or not that someone is still thinking about you. I also want to name something I think keeps planners from doing this. And I say this with a lot of empathy because I felt it too. There's a version of this work when the wedding is over and you were just emotionally done. You gave everything you had to that client, to that day, to that experience. And the idea of proactively reaching back out feels like more work on top of the work you already just finished. And I want to say I completely understand that. But I want to gently challenge the framing because this isn't more work, it's a different kind of work. It's the work of being someone your clients want to stay connected to rather than someone they've hired once and moved on. And when it comes back around, because trust me it will, it doesn't feel like work at all. It feels like your career taking care of you for a change. The clients who become my dear friends weren't the result of a perfect wedding day alone. They were the result of a relationship that didn't end when the timeline did. And once I really understood that, once I built that into how I approached every wedding, not as a task, but as a genuine extension of how I treat people, everything changed. Your referral business isn't built just on your website or your Instagram. It's not built on the business cards that you leave at venues or the styled shoots that you do for exposures. Those things can be part of the picture, yes. The thing that keeps a planning business alive and growing over years, not just months, is the quality and consistency of the relationships you build. And that starts long before the wedding, but it doesn't end on the wedding day. So as you go back to your work today, your timelines, your vendor emails, your consultations, I want you to hold this question lightly in the back of your mind. What does my relationship with my clients look like after the wedding? Not in a stressful, I need to build a whole new system way. Just honestly, is there something you could do this week? One genuine message, one specific follow-up, one moment of showing up for someone you've already served that would help you build something that lasts. But before I let you go today, I do want to take a moment and talk about something I believe is foundational to everything we discussed. Building relationships that last, building a business that gets stronger over time, being the kind of wedding planner and coordinator that clients remember and recommend, none of that happens by accident. It comes from preparation. It comes from having a real professional foundation underneath everything you do. So that when you do show up for your couple on the wedding day, you aren't just figuring it out as you go. You're operating from a place of clarity and confidence that people feel even if they can't name it. That is what certification through the CWP Society is all about. It's not just a credential to put on your website, it's a body of knowledge, a professional standard, and a community of planners who are serious about doing this work with excellence and doing it in a way that lasts. Now, if you've been thinking about taking that next step, whether it's getting the executive or master certification, I want to encourage you to stop circling it and to just go. You can learn more and take the next steps by visiting cwpssociety.com. And I want to say the relationships you build in this industry are everything. Start with the one you have with your own professional growth. Again, this is Chrissy Thomas. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. And I'll see you on the next episode of the Wedding Planner Society Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Before you go, we have a little something just for our podcast listeners. If you are ready to elevate your career as a wedding planner or coordinator, you can use code podcast to receive$75 off the executive or master certification program. This code is valid until the next episode releases. So be sure to take advantage while it's available. This offer can't be combined with any other discounts. Visit CWPsociety.com to learn more.